A year ago today, I lost someone very close to me for the first time in my 20 years of existence. For the most part, the year following my grandfather’s death has been okay. Ideally, I’d like to think it’s because he’s always around and just keeps the peace or something. Realistically, I think we’re all okay because the means in which he passed were traumatizing and taxing physically on my grandfather, but emotionally for the rest of his who visited him consistently. I wrote a blog post a while ago going in depth on the situation, tiled 2016; if you care to read it, I’ve hyperlinked it. Sometimes I slip and forget that he’s not around anymore, i.e. a few times in the middle of me enjoying myself, this immense amount of guilt would wash over me and I’d say or think “I should be at the hospital right now…”. Other times, I’ll just slip up with asking how he’s doing or that were going to see my Mami Annie and Papi Pepe, or I’ll think he’s in the living room or in the yard. Though I’m still not used to him not being here, and by no means am I happy with him not being here, I’d rather him be gone and live in on wherever he may be than to have him the way I had him in 2016. It was such a tough year, for all of us but him especially. I’m not going to get into it, because that is not what this post is about and that is not the way he deserves to be remembered. He was and always will be a beautiful man who lived an amazing life, and not to mention he was just so selfless. I am so proud to be his granddaughter, and I can’t tell you how much I wish I had told him that when he was still around.
I’ll leave you all with this, life is fleeting and unpredictable. As much as we’d like to think that tomorrow is a guarantee, it’s not and make sure that you take that with you in anything that you do or say. Thank you for taking the time to read this post.